When people experience troubles, grief, or any kind of disappointment, for most part, acceptance is the hardest part. Most friends will say "move on" and that's true. But moving on is hard when you haven't accepted the truth. It's not easy realizing the truth...specially when it hurts. Time heals wounds is what they say. And I guess that's the best cure.
I was amazed when I see a lot of tv commercials here in the United States advertising different kinds of Depression pills, which I am not used to from where I came from. So, that means deppression is common in this country. And to think that this is a rich country. But regardless of where we live, depression is something that's becoming common. Economy, job loss, delinquent kids and adults alike, prejudice, sickness, death and the list goes on. I am glad that because of the truth I learned from God's word, the Bible, I knew that all of these was caused by Satan. He's the one behind all of these. And very soon, this will all come to past.
But because we are only human, sometimes things overwhelms us. We're not perfect, we are not superheroes with superhuman powers. We have to fight this battle.
It's been almost 8 months since my mother died. But I still have recurring dreams of her. Even though I could say that I have accepted her death, the sadness still haunts me. Probably I just missed her. Probably I haven't fully accepted the truth that i have no parents anymore. I was only 8 when my father died. Good thing I had my mother for a long time. But I admit that I still cannot comprehend that my parents are gone.
Then I have an old friend, a childhood friend, or say my childhood sweetheart. He left when I was 12 and we did not see each other since. All this time, I never forgot him. And occasionally I was wondering what had happened to him and such. All I know is that he married an american lawyer. Then I got hold of his sister just a few weeks ago. I was so excited that finally I could get news from him and maybe catch up with him. But I was surprised when she said that he died only last December. He died in a car accident. And what surprises me most is that he died in Manila(He's based in US), and I was in Manila during that time. We were both on a vacation in Manila! But I have no idea that he's there and he passed away. I would even pass by the funeral home where he lies all that time i'm in Manila!
It shocked me. Not that I am longing for him and all that, but to think that we are so close and just a thought of catching up with good old friends is what I've been longing to. Then, i'd find out that he's gone. All i see is his pictures that his sister sent me. She even told me that he's been so depressed too and had a bad marriage that's why he went back to Manila and considering of staying there for good, with his siblings.
These are just some of the things that sometimes hard to accept. we can easily say, "that's life". But sometimes moving on is hard when you still cannot accept the truth. But for my part, i'd say i have moved on. I only have lapses of sadness from time to time, missing loved ones and such. Plus, my uncle also died recently.
For my childhood friend, I want to dedicate this blog for him too. although we had a brief time together, I want to thank him. And although it's just a "puppy love", i want to thank him. He's the first man who ever said "i love you" to me and even gave me a gold necklace with his name etched on it. He's the first one who wrote me love letters. He's the first one who gave me flowers and chocolates. He's the first man who cared for me. He's the first man who made me feel special. I guess it's true, "first love may die, but you won't forget it"....
